‘Grossly abusive conduct’ by a spouse

By Atty. Eduardo T. Reyes III

What is ‘grossly abusive conduct’ by a spouse that serves as a ground for legal separation?

Unlike a petition for nullity of marriage on the ground of psychological incapacity which requires that the psychological condition must be present before the marriage- technically known as juridical antecedence – even if the same would become evident only during the marriage; in legal separation, the grounds may develop during the marriage.

While in nullity of marriage, the spouses can remarry; in legal separation, the spouses will only be allowed to live separately from each other, but their marriage subsists.

One such ground for legal separation is grossly abusive conduct by a spouse.

This ground is qualified by the word “grossly.” Thus, mere “abusive conduct” would not be enough. It must be grossly abusive.

In one case, a husband had to file a petition for legal separation with urgent application for visitorial rights against his wife on the ground of “grossly abusive conduct” under Article 55(1) of the Family Code.

He considered the following acts of his wife as grossly abusive: (a) she would do things without his knowledge; (b) she just wanted money; ( c) she did not like his friends and prohibited him from seeing them; ( d) she did not trust people; (e) she is a closed-minded person and believes that she is always right; and (f) she manipulated her children and used them to compel him to provide more support.

Are these acts constitutive of “grossly abusive conduct” on the part of the wife that serves as ground for legal separation?

In the recent case of Garry B. Go v. Lynn Y. Chan-Go, G.R. No. 243647, November 18, 2025, it was concluded that indeed the controlling or domineering attitude of the wife created a hostile and intimidating home for the husband thus constituting “grossly abusive conduct.”

The Supreme Court held in Go:

“Taking the Court’s discussion in Ong and Najera, the Code Committee’s understanding and commentaries on “grossly abusive conduct” referred to Article 55(1) of the Family Code, as well as the observations from other jurisdictions, this Court thus finds that acts constituting ‘grossly abusive conduct’ pertain to acts committed by a spouse against the other spouse, the latter’s child, or their common child which result in a hostile and intimidating environment for the other spouse, their children, and common children. ln this relation, the determination of whether “grossly abusive conduct” exists as a ground for legal separation must be determined by the courts on a case-to-case basis, taking into consideration the facts and evidence in each case. To the Court’s mind, the foregoing definition of ‘grossly abusive conduct’ is consistent with the State’s constitutional obligation to protect marriages as a basic social institution.”

Truly, while recent decisions of the Supreme Court had championed the rights of women (or wives) who have experienced mental anguish on account of infidelity or abusive acts of their husbands or partners, by holding their husbands as criminally liable for psychological violence under RA 9262 (VAWC law); it is fair to at least recognize the truism that “power is neither male nor female.” And that abuses can victimize not only women but also men.

“Grossly abusive conduct” under Article 55(1) of the Family Code knows no gender.

(The author is the senior partner of ET Reyes III & Associates (ETRIIILaw)– a law firm based in Iloilo City. He is a litigation attorney, a law professor, MCLE lecturer, bar reviewer and a book author. Among the books he authored is “Law on Property and Essentials of Land Registration [2024 Edition]” which was on the bestseller’s list in online shops for several months. In 2026, he published his second major legal textbook titled “Comprehensive Reviewer on Persons and Family Relations.” His website is etriiilaw.com).