Standing By Myself?

By Klaus Döring

Learning to stand up for yourself means that you’re looking out for your well-being and bettering your mental health. You’re defending your self-worth when you take up this action. When you’re too passive under difficult situations, you may feel like you’ve let yourself down.

While being a columnist of “Tinig ng Bayan” (published in Abra) during the 1980s,  I remember our Taiwanese coordinator Cristina Lising-Geronga, who expressed herself in innumerable write ups about the topic loneliness. Sure, “Tinig ng Bayan” has been a publication for Filipinos abroad. Loneliness, borne by Filipinos living abroad while missing their families in the Philippines, became a very “normal” expression.

During that time,  my late mentor Monsignor Professor Dr. Dr. Hermogenes E. Bacareza, Chaplain of the Philippine Community in Berlin, started together with me publishing “Ang Mabuhay”. Believe me, “loneliness” became a main topic in many write-ups.

How come loneliness is still a general topic in so many families?

Loneliness has been called one of the main diseases of this century. It really doesn’t strike not only the Filipinos abroad and their loved ones back home. Too often loneliness is being followed by alcoholism, drug abuse and even suicide. Yes, loneliness becomes a modern day plague.  I observed several people trying to surround themselves with so-called “friends” only to find that such relationships are often shallow and unsatisfying.

Loneliness can be painful but being lonely or alone at that is not always a bad thing. Ask yourself, how do  you use your time, if you are really alone? Do you simply let the time pass without doing anything  at all? Why not use such time productively? There are many worthwhile activities to engage in, even if you are alone, such as reading, writing, listening to good (light) music, playing an (forgotten?) instrument, gardening.

Reading the bible can be also very particularly beneficial.  The Word of God is “alive and exerts power” and can take our minds off ourselves.

To break the cycle of loneliness, one must be a giver. Let’s keep an eye, not only and always on our personal interests but also on the interests of others. Look around and watch out who needs help, or who needs a real friend or good listener. Once you have spotted such a person, act! Thus, in order to have friends, you must act like a friend. Luke 6:38 says, “Give to others, and God will give to you!” Besides, “There is more happiness (and less loneliness) in giving than receiving”, says Acts 20:35.

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Suggestions, comments, questions? You can email me: doringklaus@gmail.com or follow me on Facebook or Linkedin or visit www.germanexpatinthephilippines.blogspot.com or www.klausdoringsclassicalmusic.blogspot.com .