Love In The Time of Technology

By Angela Castor

In the novel of Nobel-prized winner Gabriel Garcia Marquez, “Love In the Time of Cholera”, the story highlights the enduring love of a man who waited for a woman for 51 years, 9 months and 4 days.

In the love in the time of Technology AKA in the 21^st century, it would be a rare case worthy of a KMJS or Rated K feature to be able to wait that long. While it doesn’t seem to be the case for everyone, people consider 3 months as the period of waiting out before entering the dating scene again. This is far from half of the century endurance of the main character in the novel.

We may not realize it, but technology has not only changed the way of life of people at work ─ it also changed the individual’s way of life in the social setting. How one communicates and interacts with other people has literally been shaped by technology that inevitably, changes people’s behavior and way of thinking especially on love and relationship.

Aaron Smith and Maeve Duggan from the Pew Research Center shared that a growing number of people look at online dating more positively than in the past. In the same research, it was found out that about 6% of people who use the internet have met their partners online and are now in a committed relationship.

Love by Algorithms

Stanford sociologist Michael Rosenfield attributes the shift on how people meet their significant other, to the birth of graphical World Wide Web in 1995 and the rise of smartphones in 2010. In the past, other people had a hard time meeting people outside their circle and finding a potential partner. Matchmaking by families and friends would only benefit those who are comfortable with face-to-face meetings and those who have good interpersonal skills.

Technology has brought the idea of inclusivity on the table, as members LGBT community find themselves interacting in society with less judgment and prejudice. Suddenly, introverts and shy-types are becoming increasingly confident meeting with other people ─ even if it’s just virtual. One can only deduce in Rosenfield’s study, that this is indeed an era where matchmaking can be done by algorithms too.

The Double-Edged Sword

However, the mix of love and technology could be a double-edged sword. Love in the time of technology may have conquered distance and have broken walls of division. Yet couples, friends and families have never been this distant too; separated by their own worlds through that small screen portal even when they are just inches apart. You would see a group of people huddled together in public places not speaking to each other, heads bowed down not in prayer, but on their smartphones.

Undoubtedly, social media is a big source of influence on the majority of Filipinos. In fact, the Philippines has consistently topped in worldwide social media use. Social media−regardless of age− is everyone’s virtual coffee shop where people flock to meet people, catch up with their neighbor’s lives and brag about everything – from love life, children’s accomplishments, to minor victories and major milestones.

Hashtag Goals, hashtag “Sana all”. There has been so many variations of #goals in social media that it’s becoming the people’s standard of what one should have, to be considered happy and successful. While these are light expressions and harmless wishful thinking, the “Sana all” mentality in the context of a relationship, should be treated carefully as it might form a superficial image of love, making it their standard of how love should be and should look like. This could lead to dissatisfaction among couples and a cause of depression among the youth if their source of validation is social media. Sometimes, people fail to realize that everything they see may not always seem to be.

 

A Silver Lining

This doesn’t mean that one should avoid posting to social media or making use of technology to connect with people. In its entirety, it’s still an exciting and revolutionary way to interact with people across the globe. Furthermore, the success of a relationship doesn’t depend on whether you meet people online or not. What one does after the initial meeting is a different story. A story that regardless of time, era or technology involved, will always be interesting─ if it’s about love.

Angela Castor is the Sales Manager of FutureSmart Resources + Strategies Inc., an Asian company committed to bridge gaps through technological innovation and data-driven strategies. She is also a former market researcher and brand marketer in one of the biggest research firms in the country and financial service industry, respectively.