Lead by examples, not orders

By Herman M. Lagon

There is a moment in every workplace when people quietly decide whether to follow you or just comply with you. You rarely see it in formal meetings or written directives. It lives in the small moments—when pressure builds and you stay, or when it eases and you disappear; when mistakes come up and you take responsibility, or pass it to someone else. In workplaces, these moments are familiar. Teachers notice when leaders demand punctuality but do not practice it. Staff sense when outputs are required but the process is barely understood. Leadership, in these spaces, is not about words. It is about showing up.

A former colleague once shared that teams drift away from leaders who talk well but act little. He saw it under a supervisor who delegated clearly but never joined the work. Systems looked fine, but motivation faded. Leadership literature consistently notes that gaps between what leaders say and what they do weaken trust and reduce engagement (Martins, 2025).

Leading by example is often praised, but it is not comfortable. It asks for presence when absence would be easier. It asks for a kind of humility that is not always comfortable, especially in cultures where authority is often associated with distance. In many institutional contexts, titles still carry weight. A “Boss” or “Madam” can create an invisible barrier. Yet the leaders who make the deepest impact are often the ones who quietly cross that barrier. They sit with their teams, not above them. They understand the work, not just the results. And more importantly, they let others see that understanding.

There is a scene I remember from a school event in Iloilo. The rain came unexpectedly, and the setup was a mess. Chairs had to be moved, wires had to be secured, students were confused. While others issued instructions from under the tent, one coordinator stepped into the rain, lifting chairs, fixing cables, calling out directions while soaked. No speech was given that day, but something shifted. The next events ran smoother, not because of new policies, but because people remembered that moment. Behavior, it turns out, is contagious. In practice, people rarely follow instructions as much as they follow behavior—something long explained by social learning theory and supported by recent studies on how employees mirror their leaders (Bandura, 1977; Chen et al., 2020).

Leading by example is not about doing everything. That is a common trap. Some leaders step in too much, micromanaging, thinking they are helping, only to slow things down. Delegation is still necessary. The issue is not delegation itself, but how it is practiced. When it develops people, it strengthens the team. When it simply hands off work, it creates frustration. Leaders can delegate tasks, but responsibility ultimately remains with them. That kind of ownership builds quiet credibility.

In schools, this is easy to spot. A teacher who asks for curiosity but never shows it turns learning into routine. A head who pushes for research but avoids writing makes the goal feel optional. But when teachers share unfinished work or revise openly, students begin to understand that learning is ongoing. Hattie (2009) highlights the strong influence of teacher actions and classroom practices on student engagement and learning outcomes.

There is also strength in saying “I do not know.” It sounds simple, but in environments where leaders are expected to be certain, it can feel risky. Still, it invites participation. It lowers the pressure to be perfect. In many local settings, where people hesitate to speak up, this openness creates space. It tells others that mistakes are part of the process.

Balance matters. Leading by example does not mean always being the busiest person in the room. That approach often leads to burnout. Sometimes, what people need to see is not constant effort but healthy limits. When leaders rest, they signal that rest is allowed. That, too, is leadership.

Even in hybrid setups, the principle holds. It is easier now to assign and step away, but people still look for presence. A timely reply, a clear message, a consistent tone—these matter. According to Martins (2025), when leaders’ actions align with their words, trust and engagement within teams tend to improve.

Leading by example is about living the standard. It is not loud. It is steady. Small actions repeated over time. Showing up, following through, taking responsibility. These are what people remember. And often, these are what people choose to follow.

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Doc H fondly describes himself as a “student of and for life” who, like many others, aspires to a life-giving and why-driven world grounded in social justice and the pursuit of happiness. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the institutions he is employed or connected with.