If everything goes wrong

By Klaus Döring

Sometimes, it seems that everything goes wrong, despite our best efforts to make things right. We can do everything in our power to make something work, but life might have different plans. Many of us feel as though we have no control over our lives, and while that might hold some truth to some extent, we do have the power to control how we react to situations

So are all of us. You wake up in the morning and open your eyes. One mishap follows the other. And then the radio plays Jason Collett too: “When everything goes wrong”.  Accept it, stay calm, and most important, stay motivated during these tough times. Maybe easier said than done. I also had to learn it first and to pull myself up on it every time.

Of course, sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Keep in mind: whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

One of the most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. I tried to avoid it as long as I could. Big mistake. Asking for help is one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need  emotional support or practical help. The present flood victims in Germany and its surroundings are so very thankful for this.

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. It happened to me, when Covid-19 changed my life and my business. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

Many cannot get used to the idea that there are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to do things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best ways to establish resilience.

Remember this: one of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

Besides everything: think about yourself too. When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

Everything is temporary, even everything which goes wrong. Happiness is a result of your approach to life, not what happens to you.

Sometimes we need to take one step, then another. Even if they’re just baby steps, keep moving. Rather than focusing on the worst case, think instead of what else is possible. Look for the lesson. Challenging situations can often teach us what we have left to learn. Keep a positive attitude by remaining focused on solutions, skills, and strengths. Start small. Spend time with the people who support you.

Maybe, together with the light at the end of the tunnel: choose one big goal to work on in order to make a lasting change.

“If anything can go wrong, it will…” This tongue-in-cheek principle, known as Murphy’s Law, is cited by economists, sports teams, and big politicians. Human nature somehow guarantees that nothing turns out quite the way it’s supposed to.

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Email: doringklaus@gmail.com or follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter or visit my www.germanexpatinthephilippines.blogspot.com or www.klausdoringsclassicalmusic.blogspot.com.