Comedic tragedy

By Artchil B. Fernandez

Mary Grace Piattos is a name that has been immortalized in the country’s body politic. Filipinos first heard of her in 2024 during the inquiry of the House Committee on Good Government and Public Accountability into the budget of the Office of the Vice President (OVP). The House at that time was looking into the confidential funds of the OVP and the Department of Education (DepEd). Both agencies at that time were headed by Vice President Sara Duterte.

Since that House hearing in 2024, Mary Grace Piattos has become a household name. Vice President Sara Duterte and confidential funds immediately come to Filipinos’ minds whenever they hear the name Mary Grace Piattos. She has become the object of national curiosity and scrutiny. Countless memes were made about her on social media. Her existence or non-existence is a subject of national debate. Mary Grace Piattos has become a national enigma.

Fugitive senator Bato de la Rosa vouched that Mary Grace Piattos is a real person. “Halika dito sa Davao, dalhin kita sa bahay ng mga Piattos,” Dela Rosa challenged skeptics. He further claimed that the Piattos family is rich and famous in Davao City.

The name Mary Grace Piattos first caught national attention when it appeared in the acknowledgment receipts submitted by the OVP to the Commission on Audit (COA) as liquidation for the use of confidential funds. Since then, Mary Grace Piattos has been etched in the public consciousness.

During this week’s impeachment trial hearing, Mary Grace Piattos and all the names that appeared in the acknowledgment receipts were placed under a legal microscope. The Senate was verifying whether the persons behind the names were real.

The Senate, acting as an impeachment court, called Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) Assistant National Statistician Marizza Grande to the stand. The OVP submitted to COA the names of 2,699 people who allegedly received payments from the confidential funds of the OVP and DepEd involving PHP 612 million. Grande was asked to verify the existence of the persons behind the names using the PSA database.

Grande’s testimony yielded interesting information. Of the 2,699 names, 1,685, according to Grande, have no record of birth, marriage, or death in the PSA database. The PSA database also revealed that 37 of them were already dead by 2023, including one who died in 1965. Twenty-five of the persons on the list were children.

Child payees drew the most attention. The youngest among them was 2 months old. Miko Alquizar and Beatrice Cuenca, who got PHP 400,000 each from the confidential funds, were born in 2022. This prompted the prosecution to inquire what confidential and sensitive information 2-year-olds could provide, drawing laughter from the audience. Another child, Mikay de los Reyes, who was born in 2020, was paid PHP 200,000.

The infamous Mary Grace Piattos, who got PHP 70,000 from the confidential funds, has no record of existence in PSA records. PSA Assistant National Statistician Marizza Grande confirmed that there was no birth, marriage, or death record of a person named Mary Grace Piattos in the PSA archives. In short, she is fake, bogus, or forged.

Scrutiny of the names listed as recipients of the confidential funds elicited light moments in the impeachment trial. Everybody had a good laugh when it was revealed that a child as young as 2 months had provided the OVP and DepEd with confidential information. A lot of hearty jokes were generated when it was shown that the confidential funds could resurrect the dead. Money can bring the dead back to life. People are curious about what information the dead gave to the living from the afterlife.

The scene is not a divine comedy but a comedic tragedy. The nation can laugh to its heart’s content upon learning that 2-month-olds or 2-year-olds kept the nation safe through their expertise in national security while charging PHP 400,000 in professional fees. Filipinos can enjoy the joke that it wasn’t only kids who secured the nation but also the dead.

It may sound comforting that Filipinos are staunchly patriotic and that even from their graves, they still serve the nation by providing sensitive information related to national security. The only funny thing is that these dead Filipinos had to be paid hundreds of thousands of pesos to help their motherland. Maybe life beyond the grave is expensive, with inflation running at two digits. Hence, it is necessary for these dead “patriotic” Filipinos to charge professional fees like the kids. Like the kids, these dead Filipinos even signed the acknowledgment receipts to prove they indeed provided the services.

But laughing hurts since the joke is on us. This is Exhibit A of how public officials play and toy with the Filipino people. Hundreds of millions in public funds disappear. A comedic justification is conjured to explain the disappearance.

The money went to kids and the dead with vital information to ensure that Filipinos can sleep safely. Filipinos should be grateful to Gina Acosta, Raymund Lachica, and their boss, Sara Duterte, who made deals with the kids and the dead. Without their clever or crazy transactions, the nation would have fallen into the hands of the enemies.

Filipinos must wake up from their slumber. This comedic tragedy must end. The racket is no laughing matter but reeks of rottenness. On the whole, hundreds of billions in public funds — hard-earned money of Filipinos — are stolen by greedy and wicked politicians. The ongoing impeachment trial is giving Filipinos a peek at how this is done. What is being revealed is only a small slice of the reality of corruption. Imagine the entire picture, the complete dirty operation.

Unless public officials who fleece the nation of hundreds of billions are held accountable, the national treasury will continue to bleed.