The Unsung Mothers

By Herman M. Lagon

Motherhood is often seen as a given, as if it is something simple, natural, automatic. But the truth is, it is anything but. It is messy, demanding, heartbreaking, beautiful—and not at all one-size-fits-all. As we celebrate Mothers’ Day this May 11, let us take a closer look at the many kinds of mothers around us—the single moms, the teenage moms, the widowed, the abandoned, and the grandmothers, among many others, who keep stepping up. These women are more than just caregivers. They are the quiet, resilient heroes holding families—and society—together.

Single mothers, for one, carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. They do the job of two with half the resources and double the judgment. In a society that still clings tightly to the idea of the “ideal” nuclear family, they often feel the sting of unfair labels. And yet, day in and day out, they show up—with love, with strength, and with a kind of grit that can’t be taught.

Then there are the young ones—teenagers thrust too early into the world of motherhood. Many of them never planned it. Many never had the proper guidance, access to birth control, or safe spaces to ask questions. Some are victims of circumstances too painful to say out loud—yes, including statutory rape. In 2023 alone, the Philippines recorded more than 140,000 adolescent mothers. These young women need more than sympathy—they need protection, education, and a system that listens and acts.

We also think of mothers who were left to parent alone because their partner passed away. These women face the harsh mix of grief and responsibility. They mourn and mother at the same time. And still, they keep going—packing lunchboxes, showing up to school meetings, doing the late-night worrying, all with a strength that often goes unnoticed.

And what about the grandmothers? The nanays, lolas, inas, titas, who have already raised a family but do it all over again when needed. Some are well into their 60s or 70s, their knees aching and eyes dimming, yet they carry babies on their backs, cook meals, and walk children to school. They do it not out of obligation, but out of deep, unwavering love.

This Mother’s Day, let us expand the way we show appreciation. Sure, flowers are nice. So are chocolates. But recognition and respect are even better—real, sincere acknowledgment of what these women endure and overcome. Society often celebrates the glossy version of motherhood: the smiling mom holding a baby in a pastel nursery. But there’s more to the story.

Motherhood is also about unpaid bills, sleepless nights, tough choices, and invisible labor. It is about showing up to work with a smile after a night of crying. It is about enduring judgment, navigating broken systems, and still finding ways to nurture and hope.

To truly honor mothers, we need to see them—all of them. We need to see the single mom with three jobs, the teenage girl cradling her baby while trying to finish high school, the lola keeping a family together, the widow holding her child’s hand through grief. They do not ask for medals. But they deserve more than silence.

Let us also remember that the hardest part of motherhood is not always the parenting—it is surviving the systems that make it harder than it should be. It is the lack of affordable healthcare, the weak social support, the outdated expectations. It is being told to be perfect while being given little room to even rest.

This Mother’s Day, let us not just give. Let us also act. Let us advocate. Let us listen. Sometimes, it is the small gestures—a kind word, a shared load, an honest thank you—that lift the heaviest burdens.

Because at the heart of motherhood is not perfection—it is devotion. It is not about having it all together. It is about holding others together, even when everything else is falling apart.

So here is to the mothers we see, and especially to those we do not. You are not just raising children—you are nurturing the world.

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Doc H fondly describes himself as a “student of and for life” who, like many others, aspires to a life-giving and why-driven world grounded in social justice and the pursuit of happiness. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the institutions he is employed or connected with.