The best father, the best husband

By Alex P. Vidal

“I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well.” – Alexander the Great

WHO is the best father? How do we determine if he is best or worst?

The best father should also be the best husband who continues to adore and love his wife even if she has gained weight, wrinkles, and is “no longer sexually attractive.”

He can’t be “the best father” without being “the best husband.” He should be the provider-in-chief for both his children and wife.

He is best who, despite having cavorted with a 20-something nymphet, does not abandon his children and obligation to his family.

It’s much better, of course, if he doesn’t have that 20-something, his main skeleton in the closet.

A “good father” should also be a “good husband.” As much as possible, no man should claim that “l may be a bad husband, but I am a good father.”

Meaning he (admitted to having) betrayed his wife but was never remiss in his duties and obligations to his children.

It should be, “I am doing my best to be both a good husband and a good father.”

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Relationship with our family isn’t 5-6; it’s not an eat-all-you-can meal; not a study-now-pay-later plan; not a chicken and egg debate; not a choice between wholesale and retail.

Family is a home, the altar of concrete union and fountain of unconditional love, not a plate of pizza that can be sliced according to our appetite.

A father should act as a primary role model by demonstrating healthy relationships, emotional resilience, and moral integrity in everyday life.

Children observe how heads of the family handle stress, solve problems, and treat others. The most impactful role modeling requires consistency, authenticity, and active presence rather than perfection.

Happy Father’s Day.

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IF I were an innocent celebrity and among those constantly mentioned in the series of press conferences by the 18 or more bodyguards of fugitive Zaldy Co as allegedly recipient of maleta (suitcases) or supot (bag) containing millions of pesos, I would go straight to the court and file cases for cyberlibel, libel and moral damages.

It’s useless to deny their lies and innuendos in public. The bagmen would never recant their accusations especially if they were under duress or were allegedly paid P5 million each for the hatchet job.

If I go to court, there is a chance I would be able to redeem my reputation and be indemnified once they were prosecuted.

Denying their falsehoods in public is what they wished for those accused celebrity politicians and media personalities to do.

The backers, led by the disgraced political spin doctor Mike Defensor and his fellow troublemakers, wanted to engage the accused politicians and media personalities in a mudslinging contest because that’s the primary purpose of all these ruckuses.

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Because they are the ones throwing the darts and mud, they have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

The zarzuela could be part of the destabilization plot against the government.

Some of the bags may have been delivered to some corrupt politicians and “partners” in crime like former Speaker Martin Romualdez, etcetera, but undoubtedly not all the names they mentioned partook dirty windfall.

It’s becoming increasingly obvious the bagmen and their bosses may be doing the character assassinations and wholesale dirty job to annoy them.

They know their lousy script stands no chance if deeply scrutinized in the bar of public opinion.

If you allow yourself to be vexed and irritated, you lose and they succeed.

(The author, who is now based in New York City, used to be the editor-in-chief of two leading daily newspapers in Iloilo, Philippines.—Ed)