That thing called self-love

By Joshua Corcuera

 

Sometimes, we love someone so much that we already idolize that person and, ultimately, forget to love ourselves.

We all know what Valentine’s Day is all about — nothing else but love. On this day, one can witness couples going out on a date to the movies or strolling in the park. There are also those who give flowers and sweets to their partners or to those they admire. But, not everyone is gifted when it comes to romance. This circumstance brought me to the notion that loving myself is not a bad idea.

So, what exactly is self-love?

Self-love is to have a high regard for our own happiness, to take care of our own needs, and not to sacrifice our well-being just to please other people.

When we love ourselves, it doesn’t mean that we have to think that we’re the best and brightest person in the world. Rather, we accept our mortal flaws; to be kind to ourselves despite struggling from what we perceive to be our weaknesses and failures. Instead of blaming ourselves when we fail to pass an exam or get that promotion or any other goal, we comfort ourselves to feel better, acknowledge our shortcomings, and improve who we are to bounce back.

To love ourselves is also like reaching out a hand to that friend in distress. It’s to be compassionate to ourselves at all times.

More importantly, self-love is not mere instant gratification. It’s not like having a brand new gadget or eating a box of pizza which can only make us feel good for a short while. Self-love is not ephemeral but, rather, a practice that lasts as long as we live. Loving ourselves means giving what we deserve and what we need for the marathon that is life. In other words, self-love is the practice of nourishing oneself.

Surely, life has its peaks and valleys. And when we’re down, a little bit of self-love can help us recover. A study published in Psychological Science found that recently divorced individuals who were compassionate to themselves were able to recover quicker than those who exhibited hatred to themselves.

However, even though self-love is good for our mental health, loving ourselves excessively does not seem to be a good idea as this might result in narcissism and distorted self-perceptions. In other words, when we love ourselves, we must do so moderately — walang labis, walang kulang.

So what’s the point of all this self-love thing I just mentioned a while ago? In a conservative country where people are usually expected by relatives to be married before a certain age, society should also learn that love and happiness can also be found in ourselves, not always in other people. Moreover, the practice of loving oneself can benefit people in more ways than one: it can lead us through adversity, promote our mental health, and make us satisfied with life.

Altogether, it’s not a bad thing if we’ll be alone this Valentine’s. Instead, we can spend this day by being kind and caring to ourselves. After all, every single one of us suffered from a rejection or a heartbreak.

Also, there is nothing wrong with loving those who are dear to our hearts, but we shouldn’t forget loving ourselves as much as we love others.