Shame, siblings and stealing

By Eireen Manikan

One news that caught my attention recently is the family conflict of movie personality Kim Chiu and that of her sister who allegedly stole most of her hard-earned money from showbusiness. Lakam, as the story goes was apparently entrusted with millions by Kim who thought that it was used to venture into some business and invest in real properties only to learn that almost nothing is left of it.  Some unverified stories tell of the sister’s unfortunate addiction to gambling and the high life intimating to where Kim’s money probably went. And so here they are at present, with Kim filing a criminal case against her for unqualified theft.

The story captured the Filipino audience in a second, with Kim being a famous showbusiness personality and of course where money and family are involved, everyone loves a ringside view. As for me, I am not really a follower but the last 2 also reeled me in. There are 3 take aways I wish to get into regarding this situation. You guessed it right. Shame. Siblings. Stealing.

In any family conflict that goes public, be it marital, sibling vs sibling, children vs parents, among cousins, etc the mud is not centered on one side alone. Everyone gets sullied and the worst part is even the “innocent” ones who are part of the genealogy are affected.  Growing up in a provincial and traditional environment, I have long heard that all mistakes emanate from the parents, sadly. The phrase: Blame it on how they were raised or the absence of guidance was always the go-to when it came to individuals going south. Now, of course we know better. Though it may be a factor it may not be the sole reason. So even parents are shamed for something they may not have any control of. And how ironical it must be to bring shame to the people who gave us life and who we will always be grateful to.

The closest and longest relationship you can have is with a sibling, without the mental and psychological baggage that other forms of relationships may give. Supposedly. With a sibling you can pour your emotional dramas limitlessly, manifest your craziness and pretend to be lucid at times without fear of being judged or ratted on, you can even stay in bed together without having the need to take a bath for all he/she cares! The relationship should be the least stressful with no pressure of regular contact and just being present when s*** hits the fan. That is why any form of betrayal goes straight to the hypothalamus. The pain is incomparable and the hurt ocean-floor deep.

I don’t know which has the better feeling. To do the stealing or be stolen from. In my opinion, both would elicit the same horrible feeling though the depths may vary. Since we were young, normal parents have always drummed up in us never to lie, steal or kill. It is a basic rule right out of the Bible and I am sure meant to tell us NOT to do it especially to others. Imagine doing it to your own flesh and blood. It is crossing a line that may be irretrievable. No amount of justification will appease the aggrieved one, I think. In its simplest definition: it is taking something without the knowledge of the owner.  Some may argue that it’s normal among siblings. You “steal” clothes, shoes, what-have-yous from the closet.  See, there lies the big difference. Because it’s from the vault. Usually if money is lost, all forms of relationships are too.