Renormalizing some feelings

By Eireen Manikan

The world is now totally different from the world I was born in almost half a century ago.  Since then, we have long been exposed to things and beliefs that we would not have dreamed of having, growing up in the 70s. While cognizant of the Tech Age and all the benefits that go with it; and appreciative of the fact that I am still alive to witness it, I am however saddened by the coldness that this era has beset the young.  There seems to be some emotions or feelings that are not as manifested as before. Allow me to enumerate:

Firstly, it seems we have forgotten how to be humble.  The sense of entitlement in some has left me agape. I can still remember the time growing up in an all-girl school where wealth was not flaunted and stories about my classmates’ humility abound.  There was a version of how one wanted to be dropped just outside the school instead of in because she was embarrassed of the bodyguards with her upon the insistence of her father; another was how one classmate would love to say that they just walk to school with Nanny omitting the fact that the family owns the mansion across the street. Enter the SocMed era, and now the motto seems to be “if you have it, flaunt it”.  What shocks me more is the source of wealth seems questionable, but it does not stop them from posing.

Secondly, why don’t we feel shame as we should anymore? One of the major things this era has taught me is that there is no such thing as propriety. Where before we would have wished the world to open and eat us alive for even just the class knowing who our crush is, now we see videos of couples making out all over SocMed and fights among various people being recorded and everyone having a field day with it.  Our brazenness has reached an all-time high that to do the wrong things and not worry about it seems to be the norm.  I am reminded of a recent issue that has engulfed the city about the use of swear words in public at a religious event at that.  Is it just me and this wide generation gap that spans before me and the youth of today or there really is no sense of shame anymore? Is that emotion outdated?

Thirdly, it seems difficult for some to feel sorry of late. Did you know that apologizing sincerely is a game-changer and may save important relationships and partnerships? But it seems to be the most rarely use word and the most difficult to utter.  My son is a good example of this. It will take a boulder and one person to make him utter those words. He feels his Dad is the only one deserving of his sorry utterance which irritates me to no end. We are a work in progress, and he is below his teen years so there is work to be done but for the ones who have the mental capacity and emotional stability to understand, not saying sorry when you need to require profound self-reflection and maybe a gentle reminder that it is reflective of your immediate family environment.

Lastly, it may seem like SocMed is the culprit of all these forgotten emotions, but it is not. It may be a contributor to that divide between what was and is but for me it boils down to character.  Yes, we may be shaped by internal and external forces but being humble, respectful of others’ feelings and sincerely apologetic are in no way connected with any form of medium but with oneself.