Phubbing’

By Fr. Roy Cimagala

IT’S a new word I just learned recently. It refers to “the practice of ignoring one’s companion or companions in order to pay attention to one’s phone or other mobile device.” I suppose the word is an acronym for “phone” and “snubbing.”

We have to be wary of this danger which is fast becoming an epidemic and a world crisis. We can see it practically everywhere, in homes, offices, schools, etc. It definitely is a symptom of our increasing reliance on mobile phones and the internet. It must be some sign of addiction or obsession that now needs to be drastically addressed, since it is occasioning mental health and social issues, among others.

In this regard, it would be good that some guidelines be made and followed especially in the context of the family where this anomaly can first take place. Of course, parents play a crucial role in establishing some effective rules on how their children, especially the little ones, should use the mobile phones and the internet.

But the parents first have to give good example before whatever rules they make can be obeyed. That’s how they can earn moral authority, because the children can only follow how the parents are also using their mobile devices. Children can easily obey if their parents themselves practice what they preach or tell the children.

Still, parents should take the initiative in a very friendly way to ask each child how one is using the internet. This is a matter of confidence that should be handled with utmost delicacy. That’s why parents should see to it that their relation to their children is intimate and that everything should be transparent.

Parents and children should enter into some agreement about certain norms and practices that should be observed with regard to the use of the Internet and the mobile devices.

Definitely, some filters for the gadgets with internet access would be needed, since these would protect and prevent everyone from accidental exposure to pornographic things, for example.

Also, I think it would be advisable to limit internet connection to common areas, like the living room, kitchen or wide corridors. There should be no internet access in bedrooms where one can easily fall into anonymous and addictive use of it.

There should also be some kind of “digital curfew,” considering that late hours are when we are tired and quite vulnerable to our weaknesses and temptations. I think it is also a good idea to have some kind of parking area where cellphones and other gadgets can be placed during family gatherings and at night to facilitate the nocturnal rest for everyone.

Parents should teach their children how to budget their time, knowing that if one is left on his own, he can easily be swallowed up by the many attractions that his gadget can offer. Indeed, some discipline is needed here.

Parents should also think of organizing fun family events so that the children can be weaned from the dopamine effect of their gadgets. They can organize sports events and outings. They should see to it that the children are not allowed to be isolated for a long time.

Lastly, it would also do a lot of good if some kind of alliance be made with the parents of the children’s friends so that there would be a more coordinated effort in helping the children to learn how to use the gadgets properly.

Everyone should be reminded that the gadgets are not supposed to replace a direct, face-to-face interaction with others.

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com