Our need for continuing conversion

By Fr. Roy Cimagala

THIS is what we can gather from that parable about a man with two sons, asking them to work in his vineyard. (cfr. Mt 21,28-32) The first one refused but eventually went, while the second one said yes, but actually did not go.

That second son somehow personifies anyone of us who think that we are already ok because we do a lot of good things, we pray, we offer sacrifices and all the works, but feel that we do not need anymore to have another conversion, to make another step to get closer to God and to everybody else. We get trapped in our own self-righteousness.

This common phenomenon of self-righteousness can be considered as the irony of ironies. That’s because we can earnestly pursue the path of holiness, of what is good and right, and yet end up the opposite of what we want. We can practically have the trappings of goodness and holiness and yet miss the real root of righteousness who is God. It can be so self-deceiving that we become fully convinced we are righteous.

The main problem with self-righteousness is when our search for holiness does not go all the way. Our relation with God, our understanding of God’s will and ways only goes to a certain extent. Usually it stops at that point where we feel we already know everything. In other words, we make ourselves the ultimate judge of things, discarding the many other things of God’s will and ways that may still be hidden in mysteries, and for which we need to have another conversion.

This was well personified by the Pharisees, scribes and other elders during the time of Christ. They preferred to stick to their own ideas of goodness and holiness, their own laws and traditions, and went all the way not only to be suspicious of Christ, always finding fault in him, but also to finally crucify him.

This danger of self-righteousness usually affects people who are considered intelligent, gifted, talented. They often regard themselves, either in an open way or in a hidden way, superior to others.

If we are truly righteous with a righteousness that is a participation of the righteousness of God, then we should include in our idea of goodness and holiness the essential virtues of humility, compassion and mercy, for which we need to have conversion.

We cannot deny that all throughout our life we will always be hounded by our weaknesses and the many temptations around. We will always have a certain attraction to evil—what is otherwise known as concupiscence. But God knows this and is ever willing to welcome us back to him. Let’s try to be like St. Mary Magdalene and the prodigal son who, after wasting his father’s inheritance, decided to go back to his father.

God will always welcome us back, even if we appear to be already abusing the goodness and mercy of God. We should just put our mind and heart to this fact of life that we are all sinners and that we need to convert.

We are always in need of frequent and continuing conversions because very often our resolutions are fickle. We neither can deny that in spite of our best intentions and efforts, we still come out with ideas, words, deeds that are spiced with all sorts of imperfections, for which we have to repent.

We should be humble enough to acknowledge these, even if we also acknowledge the good things we have done.

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com