Of Friends, Frenemies, and the Friendship that Never Was

By Josephine Rustomji

From friends to frenemies, to what is now the friendship that never was, the estrangement between the Marcos and Duterte camps sure puts the TEA in UNITY. It also puts the tea in dynasty. But even more fittingly, it really puts the tea in UniTeam.

Not too long ago, in a campaign riding high on the call for unity, Ferdinand Marcos Jr. and Sara Duterte respectively won as president and vice-president in the May 2022 elections — with Marcos Jr. securing a historic majority of votes.

However, despite all the glowing talks of unity, the BBM-Sara alliance has always seemed a bit wobbly upon closer examination. After all, former President Rodrigo Duterte himself didn’t keep his disapproval a secret from the beginning. He made it clear he wasn’t a fan of the union supposedly matchmade in political heaven by the impressively cunning GMA.

The cracks were there from the onset.

But, in fairness to the BBM-Sara tandem, it survived long enough to see the breakup of the popular “KathNiel” love team consisting of Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla. Not only that, it endured through the celebrity splits of Kim Chiu and Xian Lim, Andrea Brillantes and Ricci Rivero, Yassi Pressman and Jon Semira, and the more dramatic parting of ways of Sarah Lahbati and Richard Gutierrez featuring Annabelle Rama.

As of this writing, hopes for reconciliation between the current President and Vice President Sara appear unlikely. It doesn’t help that former President Duterte and his successor President Marcos Jr. have accused each other of being a drug addict just last April.

And as if that wasn’t enough to strain an already strained relationship, VP Sara resigned from her cabinet post in June. And then sometime in September, she made a public statement denying she was ever friends with her running mate.

On his end, President Marcos Jr., though slow to respond, finally expressed his feelings in an October interview in Laos: “I don’t know anymore. I’m not quite sure I understand. I’m a little dismayed to hear she doesn’t think that we are friends. I always thought we were. But maybe I was deceived.”

Which reminds me: Do you know the running joke about the true test of a ride-or-die kind friendship?

It goes like this: When you tell your friend that you’ve killed someone, and their reaction is: “Where do we hide the body?” then you can be certain you have a ride-or-die friend.

Let’s just say nobody seems to be keen on hiding any body on this one — especially not the ones the ICC is bent on investigating.

Such is the reality of political alliances. After all, it has been said that there are no permanent friends or enemies, only permanent interests.

Now, if the above write-up gave you enough pause to assess your very own friendships, here are 8 signs to help you tell if your friend is truly a good friend:

1. They’re trustworthy. A good friend keeps your secrets and doesn’t gossip about you. You can share your thoughts without fear of betrayal.
2. They respect the boundaries you set. They know when to give you space and don’t pressure you to hang out, talk, or do anything when you’re not feeling up to it.
3. They are supportive. They are genuinely happy for your successes and stick by you during difficult times, offering encouragement without jealousy or envy.
4. They don’t judge you. A true friend accepts you as you are, offering empathy even if they don’t fully understand your choices.
5. They work on having good communication with you. They listen well, engage in meaningful conversations, and ensure that your conversations are a two-way dialogue.
6. There are fun to be around! You look forward to spending time together. They make even ordinary moments enjoyable.
7. They grow alongside you. A healthy friendship evolves, supporting each other’s personal growth along the way.
8. They are reliable in a crisis. When life gets tough, you can count on them to be there, showing their loyalty through actions, not just words.What do you think, do your friends pass this checklist? Share your thoughts in the comments!

‘Til the next sip. Cheers!