No easy way out

By PSMS Francisco Lindero

Some good things never last. This was my friends’ reaction to my previous articles regarding those who flip-flopped on their relationship for countless of reasons.

I anticipated such rebuttal knowing that many people believe marriage should not be construed as a life sentence. Well, there is no argument with that. I do agree that marriage should not constrain couples to stay in the relationship, especially when living together promises nothing more but hell.

Actually, that is what I commonly hear from friends and colleagues who severed their relationship with their partners. They found their lives on hell with someone whom they thought could give them celestial bliss.

When a relationship becomes irreversibly toxic, marriage should be severed in a way possible, legal and the soonest. There is no point of staying in a relationship when it is no longer promoting mutual growth and happiness.

Sadly, while it is the desire of many, if not all, to see marriages to last forever, the idea is simply unrealistic. Some marriages are doomed to fail even at their conception. Why? It is because these marriages failed to just kick off right. It was first love. It was quick. And when others may have found a way to correct the mistake along the way and ended right; many others simply did not recover.

The problem, however, is that despite the desire of couples to severe their bond to set each other free, the court proceeding is simply tedious, and yes, costly. It is why many couples who are breaking up defer from going to court; they instead resort to mutual tolerance or tacit agreement to allow each other to have a new relationship.

Sadly, the option could not resolve the issue. It may even make the situation worse. The subsistence of marriage with the previous partner could possibly lead to conflict on guardianship and financial support or obligation with the common child, and issues on property regime, among others. Hence, the best way to get out of the mess is to put the bond an end through the court.

Again, however, the legal battle could cost you a fortune, aside from the stress, anxiety and pains that come along with the experience. The situation may also cause you to become disoriented and out of focus. It would lead you to become less productive. It is why some police officers who were caught in this situation even ruined their career.

With this, it is important to realize that getting married should not be decided in a spur of a moment. Giving in oneself to a marital bond must be a conscious decision and a leap of faith. It must be so because once you are into it, there is simply no easy way out. Remember, some good things never last.*