Kindness and flexibility needed in our communal life

By Fr. Roy Cimagala

ON the Feast of St. James, the Apostle, celebrated on July 25, we are reminded of that episode where his mother asked Christ a favor. And that is that her two sons, James and John, “sit, one at your right and other at your left, in your Kingdom.” (Mt 20,21)

We know how Christ responded. In the end what he told the parties involved was to always have the desire to serve, rather than feeling privileged because of some blessings received. “Whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave,” he said. “Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mt 20,27-28)

With these words, Christ gives us the formula of how we have to treat one another in our communal life. We have to be accommodating of everyone, showing kindness and affection always, learning how to be flexible since we have to deal with our unavoidable differences and conflicts. With these traits, it would be easy for us to make the clarifications, suggestions and even corrections when they are needed.

This was how Christ behaved when he was with other people. He made them feel comfortable. He avoided projecting a domineering and intimidating presence. Children wanted to come close to him. His manner of preaching and of treating everyone so aroused enthusiasm and admiration that at one point it was said that everyone was looking for him. (cfr. Mk 1,35)

In fact, many wanted to make him king. (cfr. Jn 6,15) And they did not hesitate to visit him even at night (cfr. Jn 3,1-21) or engaging with him on the road as happened with the two blind men who heard Christ was passing by. (cfr. Mt 9,27)

We should try to adapt this character as shown to us by Christ, since it would greatly help us in our apostolic mission. The way we present ourselves to others would greatly determine whether we can click with others or not.

We have to know the kind of temperament we have and see what needs to be polished or even scrapped if only to approximate the character and personality of Christ who is actually the pattern of our humanity, and the savior of our damaged humanity.

As much as possible, we should try to echo what St. Paul once said: “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” (Gal 2,20-21)

With this in mind, we know that we can make ourselves kinder, more affectionate and attentive to the needs of others. We should try to improve our listening skills, our ability to be more understanding of others, avoiding rigidity and small manias, etc.

In this regard, we have to learn to deal and truly love the others as they really are in real time, warts and all. Of course, we have to maintain the distinction between right and wrong, good and evil, but we have to learn how to live and love each one individually and personally, helping them as much as we can in their various needs, material or spiritual, etc.

This is how Christ loves us. It’s a love that is individualized and personalized, kind of adapted to the way each person is.

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com