In love, age is just a number

By Herman M. Lagon

Love does not always follow the rules—or the calendar. In a world obsessed with timelines and age-appropriate milestones, May-December romances often catch people by surprise. These are the relationships where one partner is significantly older than the other, and in our culture, they often raise more eyebrows than wine glasses. But perhaps it is time we took a closer look—not with judgment, but with curiosity and compassion.

In the Philippines, where relationships are often everyone’s business, love stories with wide age gaps stir all kinds of reactions. When Vic Sotto and Pauleen Luna went public, many pointed to their 34-year age difference. Some found it odd that Vic’s daughter was nearly Pauleen’s age. But they proved skeptics wrong when they tied the knot in 2016 and built a family grounded in love and respect. Their journey shows us that what others find unconventional can, with commitment, become something real and lasting.

Still, these couples often navigate tough terrain. Public opinion can be relentless. Actress Aiko Melendez and her partner Shahin Alimirzapour, who are 18 years apart, had to deal with the usual wave of questions and criticism. But instead of hiding, they chose transparency—responding with honesty and sticking by each other. It is not always easy, but when two people face the noise together, it says a lot about the kind of love they have.

Experts say May-December couples need the same things all relationships do—honest communication, mutual respect, and aligned values. But they also need to be even more intentional. Clinical social worker Ruschelle Khanna notes that couples with significant age differences often face additional pressure, whether from clashing life stages or outsider judgment. But like any strong partnership, those who learn to listen deeply and empathize often come out stronger for it.

Talking about future plans becomes even more important in these kinds of relationships. Goals and timelines can look very different when one person is thinking about retirement and the other is just starting a career. When Heart Evangelista and Chiz Escudero went public about their relationship, they had to face not only the media but their families too. Sixteen years apart in age, they chose to focus on what they shared—dreams, values, and genuine affection. Their story reminds us that love is not about matching calendars but meeting each other where it counts.

Support systems also matter. It is easier to build a future when the people around you believe in it too. Eula Valdez and Rocky Salumbides, who are 12 years apart, have been open about how their relationship thrives in part because they are surrounded by people who respect them. That kind of community support can turn down the volume of criticism and help love grow in peace.

Spending time together in meaningful ways also helps bridge any generational gaps. Shared hobbies, interests, and adventures can strengthen the bond, even when partners are decades apart. Comedienne Ai-Ai delas Alas and Gerald Sibayan, 29 years younger than her, have shown that laughter and shared passion go a long way. When couples continue learning and exploring together, age matters less and connection matters more.

Interestingly, some couples say the challenges of being in a May-December relationship actually deepen their connection. They learn to rely on each other, to communicate better, to become more resilient. Relationship therapist Matt Lundquist says couples who overcome adversity together often build stronger, more lasting bonds. Facing external judgment can either break or bind a couple—and for many, it is the latter.

That does not mean the criticism goes away. Celebrity couples like Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho have endured their share of backlash. Their 24-year age difference has been the subject of public scrutiny for years. And yet, despite it all, they chose to stay and grow together. Their story reminds us that while love is personal, surviving in the public eye takes grit—and grace.

Thankfully, the tide seems to be turning. Younger generations are more open to love in all its forms. People are starting to realize that connection, not conformity, is what makes a relationship work. The late comedy king Dolphy and singer Zsa Zsa Padilla shared a 23-year love story—full of laughter, music, and deep companionship. For many, they became proof that age is irrelevant when the heart knows where it belongs.

May-December romances may not be for everyone, and that is okay. But maybe it is time we stopped looking at them with suspicion and started seeing the courage behind them. These couples are not breaking rules—they are simply following their hearts. And in a world where love is often boxed in by expectations, choosing someone regardless of age is both bold and beautiful.

So the next time you hear about an age-gap romance, try pausing before you judge. Ask yourself: are they kind to each other? Do they bring out the best in each other? If the answers are yes, then maybe—just maybe—that is all that should matter.

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Doc H fondly describes himself as a “student of and for life” who, like many others, aspires to a life-giving and why-driven world grounded in social justice and the pursuit of happiness. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the institutions he is employed or connected with.