How to stop worrying and start living

By Engr. Carlos V. Cornejo

This best-seller book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: Time Tested Methods to Conquer Worry” by Dale Carnegie was written 70 years ago, but it is still pretty much applicable these days, because wisdom is beyond space and time.  Knowledge, love and wisdom (knowledge about values) are the features in this world that can never be eroded with time and will go beyond the space that we occupy in this world (we carry them beyond death).

According to the author Carnegie, worry is a complete waste of time. Worry doesn’t solve problems. Only rational thought and decisive action solve problems that causes worry; worry clouds our thinking and drains our energy.  “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” (Erma Bombeck).

Here are three ways to stop worrying and start living more productively:

Worry Remedy #1: Analyze Your Worry

The next time you’re worried about something, grab a pen and paper and write down two questions. (1.) What am I worried about? (2.) What can I do about it? Describe your worry in precise detail; then write at least three courses of action you can take. You’ll notice by writing down your worry, you gain emotional distance from your worry and can objectively assess your options.

Then determine which course of action has the highest probability of a positive result. If unsure, proceed with any good option for five minutes and stop worrying. If, after five minutes, your decision feels right, continue. If not, proceed with the next best option.  The more action you take, the more worry fades away.

Worry Remedy #2: Accept the Worst, then Improve

Willis Carrier invented the first electric air conditioning unit and spent 20 plus years leading the Carrier Corporation. Early in his career, Willis worked as an engineer installing equipment at gas plants. When one project was on the brink of failure, Willis was overwhelmed with worry.

How did Willis Carrier reduce his worry? He imagined the worst and reconciled himself to live with the outcome. Carrier imagined and felt as though the project had failed, his reputation had been damaged, and he was no longer employed. It was unfortunate, but Carrier said to himself at least he would still alive. From that worst situation, Carrier knew if he worked hard, he could find a job and rebuild his reputation. By mentally experiencing and learning to live with the worst‐case scenario, his worry dissipated.

After accepting the worst, Carrier could think free of worry, which allowed him to see that adding additional equipment to the project might turn the project around. After implementing his solution, his company went from potentially losing $20,000, to making $15,000 (a huge fortune in 1899!).

Carrier told Carnegie, “One of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate…When we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all those vague imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.”

Carnegie says accepting the worst “yanks us down out of the great grey clouds in which we fumble around when we are blinded by worry (and) plants our feet good and solid on the earth.”

Worry Remedy #3: Compartmentalize Your Worry

In the early 1900s, large ships were designed so that if one part of the ship flooded, the captain could seal off the flooded compartment with watertight doors and prevent the ship from sinking.

Apply this analogy to your life: imagine you are the captain of your ship and can press a button that shuts out yesterday’s regret and tomorrow’s worries, allowing you to live in a ‘day‐tight compartment.’

To activate your ‘day‐tight compartment,’ wake up each morning and imagine each day is a new life. Your old self died when you went to sleep last night (along with any regret) and today you have a clean slate. Then tell yourself, “If I take care of today, tomorrow will take care of itself.”

In the book, Dale Carnegie says, “the best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.” If you do your best to take care of today’s responsibilities, solve today’s problems, and prepare for tomorrow, why worry about tomorrow?

This book is full of other worry busting methods and stories. It is highly recommended for complete reading.