How to persevere in love

By Fr. Roy Cimagala

 

THIS is the common challenge we all face. We are good only at the beginning of love but we often cannot go very far. Yes, we savor and relish the sweet and intoxicating feelings when we fall in love. But to persevere in it? We often find ourselves failing, or at best, doddering in an erratic fashion, like an old man even if we are still young.

How do we keep ourselves in love forever? How do we keep the flame of love ever burning despite the cold and the dust that can come our way? I believe the answer is in our understanding of the very nature of love.

For many of us, we understand love more as a matter of feelings or of material, bodily or carnal attraction. Of course, it is true that in love, everything that we have and we are, are involved.

The emotions and passions play an important role. Except that in true love, we have to give the primary role to our spiritual faculties of the intelligence and the will.

It’s these faculties or powers that would enable us to enter into the spiritual and supernatural dimension of love. And it’s in these dimensions where we can find the true source, pattern, energy and purpose of love, who in the end is God.

It’s in these dimensions that can make our love persevere and constantly burning despite the ups and downs of our life, or the dizzying drama of our earthly sojourn.

The love that is a participation in the love of God can take on anything. The good things would not spoil us, making us proud, conceited, vain, complacent, etc. And the bad things would neither put us down.

This true love will always stay on course, just like what couples on their wedding promise to love and honor each other “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

We have to make sure then that the spiritual and supernatural dimensions of our love are always nourished. Failing in this can only mean that we are simply indulging in a fake kind of love.

This means that in spite of the busy schedule we may have, we just have to find time praying, reflecting and meditating on God’svlove for us and on how we can reflect that love in our daily affairs.

Because of the spiritual and supernatural character of the love proper to us, we need to avail of the sacraments, especially the Holy Eucharist, where Christ himself offers his own self and the whole range of his redemptive mission to us.

We have to understand that we have to love God and others the way Christ himself loves us. Remember that new commandment he gave us: “Love one another as I have loved you.” (Jn 13,34)

We have to see to it that all throughout the day, we can truly say that we are loving others the way Christ is loving us, following his example and empowered by his own grace.

For this, we need to avail of certain practices that will sustain not only the presence of Christ in our mind, but also his active and constant interventions in our life. Yes, in the end, we truly have to learn to be contemplatives even while we are immersed in the things of the world.

There has to be a plan of spiritual practices of piety that is adapted to our particular condition and circumstances. We may have to seek advice from those who have been practicing these acts of piety and who are truly giving us a good example of how love is that is based on one’s sharing in God’s love.

This definitely will also require the proper formation and training, since this lifestyle would not just come to us automatically. In fact, it will require a lot of effort and discipline!

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com