Flood, Trash, and Traffic Triumph

By The Sunriser

First, let’s give credit where it’s due: Iloilo City Hall has nailed it!

According to the 600-strong respondents of a recent survey by one of the more dependable organizations in Iloilo, the city’s top problems—drainage, waste management, and traffic—are all splendidly “executed” by none other than City Hall itself.

No private company could pull off such consistency in failing to provide basic services.

With or without surveys, every Ilonggo knows these problems are real. The survey only validated the truth on the ground.

Drainage systems are the runaway winners with a whopping 23%. It’s no small feat to keep streets flooded when rains fall.

While some cities try to mitigate flooding with, you know, functioning drainage, Iloilo seems to embrace its aquatic ambitions. Forget Venice; we’re heading straight for Atlantis.

Trailing closely is waste management at 20.5%. Or maybe it also has something to do with discipline in the barangays, especially in waste segregation. But barangay captains are under the mayor’s office, eh?

Traffic, holding strong at 18.8%, rounds out the podium. With congestion choking every major artery, City Hall has managed to redefine the term “gridlock.” The solution? Ignore it and hope for teleportation technology.

But here’s where the satire turns poetic: water access, a problem ranked fourth, has a private company, Metro Pacific Iloilo Water, working tirelessly to resolve it.

While City Hall’s hands remain spotless from any meaningful action, a private entity scrambles to clean up the mess. The irony? Water—a literal and figurative foundation of life—isn’t even the top concern.

Congratulations for setting the bar so low that even basic services feel aspirational. Surely, Iloilo City deserves better. But hey, at least the residents can count on consistency.

Niche Problems, Big Lessons

At fifth place with 7.3% is public health—at least it’s not up there but still a major concern that has not been solved by the current dispensation that has been in power for decades. Health is wealth, a sick community is a ticking time bomb for economic productivity, social stability, and overall quality of life.

Though cited by fewer respondents, poverty (3%) and high costs of living (2.8%) deserve a special mention. Poverty’s presence underscores how bad governance exacerbates structural inequalities, while the rising cost of living highlights how little relief trickles down to ordinary Ilonggos. But hey, inflation is a global thing—why blame City Hall for that?

Streetlights (1.8%) barely make the cut, but their absence casts a long shadow over safety and security. Poor lighting on dark streets makes every walk home an adventure—and not the fun kind.

Unemployment (1.3%) is another small figure with big implications. Failing to create jobs in a growing urban center is an achievement in itself. Meanwhile, residents waiting for meaningful employment may want to consider joining the burgeoning “waiting for government action” industry.

Corruption lands at just 1%. Is this because it’s been eradicated? Not quite. The better theory: people are so used to it that they’ve given up counting it as a problem. Normalization, after all, is the mother of quiet resignation.

The survey also highlights quirky issues like stray animals, bridges, and free medical services—all with one vote each. These might seem insignificant, but they reflect unmet needs in specific communities. If City Hall can’t even tackle the odd loose goat, what hope is there for the drainage system?

The Irony of Achievement

Let’s take a step back. The glaring irony in this survey is that the top-ranked issues—drainage, waste, and traffic—are supposed to be within City Hall’s bread and butter. Meanwhile, a private company battles to fix water problems, and residents suffer from rising costs and inadequate healthcare.

With this track record, Iloilo City Hall has proven it can deliver one thing consistently: unmet expectations. Perhaps it’s time to rethink what “public service” really means. But at least they’re excellent at one thing—making satire practically write itself.