Entitlement overload

By Herman M. Lagon

It starts in subtle ways. A student asks for a grade bump because they “tried their best.” A colleague skips a task, saying, “That’s not in my job description.” A driver overtakes in traffic, asserting their urgency is greater than yours. These seemingly mundane moments reveal a troubling pattern: a growing culture of entitlement that many of us, knowingly or not, participate in and perpetuate. This behavior is not limited to the rich or young—it cuts across all classes, ages, and professions, surfacing in schools, offices, and public spaces. It is not just a quirk but a symptom of deeper societal fractures.

Entitlement is not inherently evil. It is normal to want recognition for effort or fairness in treatment. However, the problem arises when entitlement warps into the belief that one deserves special treatment regardless of merit. Take the example of young professionals who expect promotions within months of employment, claiming their diploma from a top university entitles them to skip the grind. This mindset often leads to frustration when reality bites back. Studies by Dr. Julie Exline at Case Western Reserve University affirm that inflated entitlement frequently results in unhappiness and strained relationships.

Consider traffic behavior in our cities, where the “me first” mentality dominates. Jeepneys abruptly stop in the middle of the road, private cars encroach on bike lanes, and motorcycles swerve into oncoming traffic. Everyone’s urgency seems paramount, creating chaos. This entitlement to prioritize oneself over others stems from the belief that their time—or frustration—matters more. Such attitudes magnify systemic inefficiencies, reinforcing a cycle of inconvenience and anger.

The family is often the birthplace of entitlement. Well-meaning parents who shield their children from discomfort inadvertently breed adults unprepared for setbacks. For example, a parent who always resolves their child’s school conflicts may instill the belief that authority figures should bend to their will. Over time, this privilege mutates into arrogance. Research published in Psychological Bulletin highlights how overindulgence in childhood correlates with entitled attitudes in adulthood. Yet, balance is possible—parents can model empathy and teach accountability instead of coddling.

The professional sphere is not immune. Stories abound of employees demanding flexible hours or higher pay without delivering proportional results. Some employees use their credentials or connections as shields, refusing tasks they deem beneath them. However, these expectations clash with workplace realities where effort and collaboration are valued over entitlement. Many managers can relate to anecdotes of staff questioning their authority simply because they feel superior, often due to personal biases or misunderstandings of workplace dynamics.

Another glaring symptom is the misuse of privileges. From fake PWD cards to VIPs cutting queues, entitlement manifests in ways that harm collective fairness. A barangay captain in Cebu once garnered outrage after reserving an entire beach area for his family, denying access to the public. Such acts highlight how entitlement can distort the concept of public service into personal gain. And yet, this behavior persists because systems either enable it or fail to penalize it effectively.

Social media plays an undeniable role in fueling entitlement. Platforms like Instagram and Facebook showcase curated lifestyles that foster unrealistic comparisons. Seeing peers with luxury bags or exotic vacations triggers a subconscious desire for parity, even if it is not earned. Psychologist Dr. Jean Twenge’s research on social media’s impact on mental health reveals how constant exposure to highlight reels inflates entitlement while diminishing gratitude. This digital landscape creates a “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality but with filters and hashtags.

Addressing entitlement does not mean discouraging ambition or advocacy. We have a rich tradition of fighting for justice like the people-power revolutions or grassroots movements. However, entitlement should be distinguished from rightful assertion. There is a fine line between advocating for equitable opportunities and demanding unearned advantages. A high school student arguing for campus accessibility improvements vastly differs from one insisting on leniency for missed deadlines because they “felt tired.”

Ignatian-inspired discernment, though not exclusively religious, offers practical guidance: reflect, evaluate, and act based on communal benefit rather than personal gain. Simply put, it is about shifting focus from “What do I deserve?” to “What can I contribute?” Imagine if every jeepney driver asked, “How can I make this commute smoother for others?” or if students thought, “How can I grow from this challenge?” Small shifts in perspective can ripple into meaningful change.

Ultimately, entitlement is a self-constructed cage. The belief that the world owes us narrows our worldview, leaving us bitter when expectations are not met. Conversely, embracing gratitude and humility opens doors to resilience and genuine contentment. Take it from the OFW who works tirelessly abroad, valuing each opportunity, or the student who thrives despite limited resources. They remind us that true fulfillment comes from earning our place, not claiming it.

The real challenge is to see entitlement not as a privilege to keep, but as a duty to share. Whether letting others merge in traffic or owning up to workplace mistakes, every act of humility chips away at the entitlement culture. In doing so, we shift from “me first” to “us together,” building a community grounded in mutual respect and shared progress. The message is clear for the entitled and the entitled-to-be: nobody owes you—but together, we owe each other a better world.

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Doc H fondly describes himself as a “student of and for life” who, like many others, aspires to a life-giving and why-driven world grounded in social justice and the pursuit of happiness. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the institutions he is employed or connected with.