Disiplinang walang palo: Why spanking backfires on kids

QUEZON CITY — More frequent spanking is linked to greater anxiety and aggression in children over time, according to international research covering Filipino families that Ateneo de Manila University psychology professor Liane Peña Alampay presented in a public lecture.

The findings challenge the familiar belief that pamamalo produces more disciplined children.

Instead, the research points to the benefits of warm relationships in the home, clear expectations, and nonviolent discipline.

In her Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture, Alampay drew from the Parenting Across Cultures (PAC) research project, the largest multicultural and longitudinal study of its kind in the world.

For 15 years, the PAC project followed children and their parents in nine countries — some 4,500 families in China, Colombia, Italy, Jordan, Kenya, the Philippines, Sweden, Thailand, and the United States.

As the Philippine site lead, Alampay examined how parenting shapes child development and how culture influences parent-child relationships.

Nothing positive about corporal punishment

Across the cultures it studied, the PAC project found that more frequent physical punishment predicted greater anxiety and aggression.

Cultural acceptance of the practice sometimes weakened these outcomes but did not transform physical punishment into a beneficial practice.

“In no instance does corporal punishment have positive effects,” Alampay said, underscoring the project’s findings.

“In the Philippine context, corporal punishment is often synonymous with discipline. But I want to correct that; there are many types and forms of discipline. We need to discipline our children, but in ways that are not harsh or inflicting pain,” she said.

Physical punishment remains widespread in Filipino homes. The 2016 National Baseline Study on Violence Against Children, conducted by the Council for the Welfare of Children with support from UNICEF, found that 66.3 percent of Filipino children had experienced physical violence, and that 60 percent of such cases happened at home.

Attempts to ban corporal punishment by law have yet to succeed. In February 2019, then-President Rodrigo Duterte vetoed the proposed Positive and Non-violent Discipline of Children Act, calling it “overly sweeping” and an intrusion into family privacy.

Lawmakers have since refiled versions of the measure, and the House Committee on Welfare of Children approved a substitute bill in December 2023, the Philippine News Agency reported.

Alampay’s research challenges the assumption that warm, accepting parenting is a Western approach unsuited to Filipino families.

Across the nine countries, rejection, neglect, and hostility toward the child were consistently associated with later emotional and behavioral difficulties that remained from ages 7 to 14.

In contrast, children who felt valued and accepted were protected from aggressive or antisocial behaviors, depression, and anxiety in relationships.

Alampay also said that preventing school violence depends on addressing children’s relationships at home and in school.

She said rejection or harsh parenting at home can combine with bullying and exclusion in school, leaving distressed young people vulnerable to online groups that encourage violence.

“Of course, we need to make schools safe spaces, not just safe in terms of cameras and bag searches, but safe with a teacher, safe with classmates,” she said.

She called for parenting support and for environments where children feel accepted and can trust adults.

Authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting styles

The Filipino parents represented in the research were among those reporting the strongest authoritarian attitudes, emphasizing strictness, obedience, and respect for authority.

Alampay distinguished this approach from authoritative parenting, which combines rules and expectations with warmth, open communication, and recognition of the child’s perspective.

Close family ties also emerged as a potential strength.

Valuing family responsibilities — such as helping in the home, spending time with the family, supporting siblings, and respecting parents — predicted later helpful behavior.

Among Filipino participants, valuing family responsibilities also protected against the effects of negative parenting by shaping the meanings of parent behaviors.

Alampay noted that this variable may be related, but not equivalent, to utang na loob.

How family obligations can bring about positive as well as negative effects among the youth needs further study.

Parenting also reflects pressures outside the home: financial hardship, unsafe neighborhoods, and household instability can strain parents’ well-being and relationships, increasing the risk of harsh parenting.

Putting research into practice

To put the research into practice, Alampay discussed Masayang Pamilya (MaPa), a Philippine adaptation of the Parenting for Lifelong Health support intervention.

The program aims to promote positive caregiver-child relationships, prevent violence in the home, and enhance caregiver and child well-being.

MaPa teaches caregivers practical skills through model scripts, guided practice, illustrated stories, and stress management.

A randomized controlled trial of MaPa for young children found reductions in child maltreatment sustained a year after the program.

Her team is working with the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) to expand MaPa through family development sessions for conditional cash transfer beneficiaries.

Family development sessions are a regular requirement for households under the Pantawid Pamilyang Pilipino Program (4Ps), the government’s conditional cash transfer program, which was institutionalized under Republic Act 11310 in 2019.

For Alampay, the best way to reach parents is through support and empathy rather than judgment.

She said most parents do not intentionally choose negative parenting. They would like to see their children thrive but do not know how to do it.

“We are also products of our history and how we were parented; it is all we know,” she added.

When given support, she said, parents are motivated to unlearn past practices and learn new behaviors that help foster positive relationships.

Alampay’s lecture is part of the Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture Series’ current focus on the family, which brings Ateneo de Manila University research into public conversations about children, relationships, and well-being.

Her full lecture, “Parenting Across Cultures: Universals, Cultural Nuances, and Implications for Filipino Families,” is available on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szTIlcPits4.

More information on the PAC project is available at parentingacrosscultures.org.