Coming Alive

By Engr. Carlos V. Cornejo)

This book “Coming Alive:  4 Tools to Defeat Your Inner Enemy, Ignite Creative Expression & Unleash Your Soul’s Potential” by Barry Michels and Phil Stutz will help us overcome that negative self-talk we have inside our heads that tends to spoil all the good plans we have in our life.

The book says if we look around, and we’ll see many people living limited, joyless lives. You may attribute the daily hardships in life to their gloomy demeanor, but that’s not the reason they are going through the motions ‐ Part X is. Part X is the character villain in our personal movie called life.

Part X lives in each of us. It’s a voice that tells us we’re not good enough or that life is meaningless. It’s our worst critic, our source of pessimism, our enabler of indulgences, and the amplifier of emotional hurt. This destructive force inside of us feeds on our lethargy and

fuels our anger. When we have an ambition in life, it gradually erects a huge psychological wall in front of that goal in life and spray paints “IMPOSSIBLE” on the wall in graffiti‐style letters.

Part X’s primary goal is to keep you and me down and prevent us from growing. In a sense, it’s the self‐improvement villain who wants to exert dominance over our lives. But here’s the twist ‐ we need Part X. Without Part X, we would not grow. Just as a hero in a story needs a

worthy villain to rise up (Batman needs a Joker), dig deep, and bring forth their best self to defeat that villain, Part X ensures we keep fighting and growing. Each time we defeat Part X, we grow stronger. But we can’t kill Part X ‐ we can only temporarily defeat it.

Use two “Tools” created by the authors to awaken a force inside and temporarily defeat Part X. (Note:  I’ve added some personal comments to them for more practicality and make them aligned to values I’ve written in my previous articles)

The Power of Self-Giving

When negative self-talk starts to creep in inside our heads and makes us give up our life goals and tells us instead to indulge in mindless pleasures such as alcohol, drugs, social media, movies, etc. because our goals are unreachable and a waste of time, think of the opposite: giving yourself to others and to your work.  It seems paradoxical, but the more energy you put into giving, the more energy you receive. Just think back to when you gave yourself entirely to a project ‐ it strengthened your commitment to the project team and heightened your engagement, allowing you to work long hours.

When you find ways to be generous in your relationships, work, and all aspects of life, your problems shrink and Part X fades into the background. However, at the first sign of fatigue, Part X will return and convince you to check out and be lazy. When this happens, bring out the second tool, “Action rather than Inaction”.

Action rather than Inaction

One of part X’s dirtiest tricks is repeating the perfectly rational idea that the only way to regain energy is to sit around and do nothing. But recall a time you’ve felt depleted – did you regain energy by being lazy or by getting engaged in a conversation, a workout, or interesting project?

Human beings gain energy by being plugged in and fully engaged in the world around them, not by withdrawing from it.  When we feel lethargic and lazy, the solution is action rather than inaction or being passive or just lie in your sofa and watch TV.  When we act on our school assignment or project, or office work, or hobby it would be dull and tiring at first, but if we persevere in our effort, our life goals become alive and we feel we are closer to that ambition rather than feel purposeless in life.  We are meant to work as birds were meant to fly, that’s why nobody is really happy being lazy, but happiness is rewarded to those who are men of action.  In fact, heaven is not filled with brilliant saints such as theologians St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine.   Heaven is populated by average minded men and women but who are full of action (because love is primarily an action rather than feelings) for God and neighbor such as St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Ignatius of Loyola, St. Josemaria Escriva, etc.