Chaste sex?

By Fr. Roy Cimagala

 

WHY not? In fact, that’s how sex should be if we have to remain truly human and a child of God. Sex is a human act that is meant not only for our own good but also and primarily as a means to glorify God. Yes, to put it bluntly, sex is also meant to work out our own sanctification, which is the real purpose of our life here on earth.

Sex is not just an expression of our animality, a function purely of our hormones and instincts, a pursuit for dopamine. It’s supposed to be guided rationally and most especially by faith, hope and charity.

We have to overcome the idea that chaste sex is a contradiction in terms. Sad to say this is how many people regard this God-given human power. It’s time to extricate sex from such primitive mind-frame, and put it on the path where it is supposed to be, a path that leads us to God.

In this regard, of course, we have to deal with this very delicate issue properly. Enough with treating it as some kind of taboo that should not be talked about. Obviously, we have to be discreet and prudent in discussing it, but it should be tackled head-on.

I find it quite funny that about the only time sex is openly discussed in public is when it is about the different techniques one can use to derive the greatest pleasure from it. That’s how sex education is done these days. But about how sex can be made chaste or a means of our sanctification, there is almost complete silence.

And because of that set-up, the anomalies that issue from this human faculty of ours have proliferated beyond recognition. Self-abuse, pre-marital sex, infidelities, sex addiction, and all kinds of perversions are practically exploding, and they now involve children and old people, and even those we normally expect not to get involved in this kind of problem. This problem has been a quiet pandemic for a long, long time already.

Abetting this problem now, of course, is the easy access to pornography which, thanks and no thanks to our new technologies, has already created a formidable network that is now very difficult to resist. It has caught many people in its web.

We have to bring out more often the true beauty of sex as a gift from God that is governed by certain laws that are meant to give us our true joy, not the fake, deceptive and harmful one. And we need to talk more about how sex can be lived or resorted to according to God’s will.

Obviously there is need to talk more about the practical means of discipline and self-control in order to make sex chaste, given our weakened or wounded condition here on earth. But these prudential norms should be portrayed in a positive manner.

Also there is need for practical and immediate guidance especially to the young ones who are already feeling the stirrings of sex, and also to those who have some special needs with respect to sex. Let’s hope that we can count on a good number of people who can carry out this delicate task.

We should try our best to put up a working culture of chastity around. This should not be a laughing matter anymore. It may require some major effort at readjusting our understanding of this matter and our ways of handling it, but it would be all worthwhile.

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com