Are you happy?

By Engr. Carlos V. Cornejo

When I was in college, I used to go to a Spanish priest named Fr. Luis Lisa for spiritual direction and confession. Before we would have our regular chat, he would always ask me, “How are you?” And when I would routinely reply, “Fine, Father,” he would then ask a follow-up question: “Are you happy?” in a jovial and playful manner. I would then reply, “Yes, Father.” If Fr. Luis asked me the same question today, I would reply, “Yes, Father, even though some things don’t go as I would have liked them to, they go as God would have liked them to, and I believe it’s for a greater good.” Fr. Luis is already in heaven. He died of colon cancer in 2012. I’m sure he inspired me to come up with this article.

The question “Are you happy?” might be simple, but it is also deep. We humans are made by God to seek happiness. In all the things we do, we do them because we want to be happy. Even if we do something difficult, the end goal is always to be happy, such as when studying for an exam. Even for someone who dies by suicide, strange as it may sound, the person may be trying to escape an unhappy life in search of relief.

The happiness question, “What makes us truly happy?” does not have just one answer for me. It is a question that asks about the meaning of life; therefore, it does not have just one answer because life has many facets. For me to be happy in this life, I need the following: (1) to be in love or have a loving relationship with God, my spouse, friends, and relatives; (2) to be growing in my profession, character, and spiritual life; (3) to have found the purpose of my life and be doing things according to that purpose; (4) to practice the virtues; and (5) to have God’s gifts of peace and joy.

The world’s definition of happiness is more about feelings. The world tells us that if we feel happy, then we are happy. It is merely based on feelings. It is a happiness that is subject to a cycle of ups and downs because good feelings come and go. Furthermore, it is a kind of happiness that is dependent on things outside of us, such as money, pleasure, fame, and power. But the things I mentioned above are not dependent on whether you are rich or poor, young or old, healthy or sick, because happiness is an inside job and is not dependent on things outside of us. It is not a kind of happiness that is temporary or has its ups and downs, but something permanent even amid pain and hardships.

If you are romantically in love, you are quite happy. That is a consequence of falling in love with a person. What more if you are in love with God? God is a million times greater than a person because God is perfect and infinite. That is why my first reason for being truly happy is having a loving relationship with God and with others. These are the two greatest commandments: love of God and love of neighbor. They are also the formula for being truly happy. God’s greatest commandment is likewise the best path to fulfillment. You need not be romantically in love to be happy. A great number of saints were single and yet happy because they deeply loved God and their neighbors. The love of God can easily make up for the lack of romantic love because only God is “sufficient,” as St. Teresa of Avila said, or, as we often say these days, only God can complete you.

Second, you have to be growing in all aspects of life. If you are growing in knowledge, in your relationships, in your spiritual life, in your skills at work, and so on, you are happy. John Maxwell says, “Growth is equal to happiness,” because we are meant to grow or, as people often say nowadays, we are meant to become the best version of ourselves.

Third, happiness is knowing your purpose in life. We were made for a purpose because God is a God of reason, order, and purpose, not a God of randomness and chance. If birds and plants have a purpose, then even more so do we human beings, who are of much greater value. You need to know your particular purpose in life and should be living according to that purpose because nobody is happy in this life without knowing and fulfilling it. If you are not living your purpose, you would be like a body part that is not in its proper place. A nose located in the stomach, for example, would surely complain, if it could talk, that it is not where it is supposed to be. To know our purpose, we have to discover it through God, who has placed us in this world for a purpose, through constant prayer.

Fourth, you should practice virtues. Aristotle, the common-sense philosopher, says that virtues such as hard work, generosity, humility, honesty, self-control, and loyalty are indispensable to a happy life. Can you point to a person who is given to vices, the opposite of virtue, and is truly happy? Alcoholics, gamblers, drug addicts, and others might appear happy on the outside but are really hurting inside. Lastly, you should have God’s gifts of peace and joy, which are among the 12 fruits of the Holy Spirit that God gives to those who are obedient to Him. Love of God gives us more joy than being in love with a person because God has infinitely more lovable aspects than a person and because God is the creator of love.