25 Things I Now Know While on ECQ

By Hip Mama

1. Listing down grocery items is a science. The more obsessive-compulsive you are, the better. Best done by people with extraordinary photographic memory who know what’s sold per aisle by heart.

2. Added a few terms to my vocabulary that I didn’t know existed – TikTok, oppa, Dalgona coffee. Dalgona everything. Also wondering what the hype is all about.
3. Korean drama is universally WATCHED. Makes me a dodo bird for not even watching Crash Landing On You.
4. All my neighbors are chefs and bakers. PM is the key.
5. You can still order milk tea sago through Shopee. It is a millennial essential. As for the milk tea, steep a Lipton tea bag in a pot. Add milk, ice, sugar, sago and enjoy! For the lazy, use flavored condensed instead of milk and sugar. Feed 20 at the cost of mall-bought pearl tea!
6. Know the signs of cabin fever. You snarl at your kids, at your dog, and even the neighbor’s cat. Your husband is nowhere to be seen.
7. You think your silver roots will be the rage. In the meantime you sport tricolor hair like your Shih Tzu. Trick yourself into thinking that it’s just a more colorful variant of ombre.
8. The anticipation of food scarcity makes dieting more difficult. Gotta keep healthy so you make sure you are well-fed (like Kobe beef). Three meals a day and hourly snacks should do it. You’ll be tender and well-marbled with fat, just like your favorite melt-in-your-mouth, cholesterol-rich steak after ECQ is lifted.

9. You text online shopping more frequently than your daughter (this is really sick, I think). Order 2 sizes larger today and you’ll have something to wear tomorrow. Yoga pants STRETCH – get them without the yoga.
10. You’ve grown adept at picking fights with the chat service of Pag-ibig, the power company, internet service etc.
11. I finally have EQ! More boring than good old IQ but can keep you from getting locked-up and fined for civil disobedience.
12. Online shopping is my equivalent to gambling. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
13. Product photos are like profile pics – it’s probably an improved version of the real thing.
14. Botox deficient and hair-color challenged people are nice and sweet until they take an unfiltered selfie. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned by a bad photo.
15. Cooking during quarantine is a test of creativity. How many variations of ramen noodles can you think of? Ramen ala sukiyaki, ramen carbonara, ramen spaghetti, ramen with meatballs, ramen pesto, ramen cold noodle salad, ramen curry. And when you run out of ramen, there’s sardines!
16. Everything is nostalgic – you watch reruns of Three’s Company, Friends, remastered Filipino telenovelas, and musicals whose original version you saw some 20-something years ago. You connect with classmates, all of you wearing older faces but pretty-much young at heart.You attempt to channel your mom’s cooking skills and realize that you can’tmeasure-up to a master. Then you weep. The world was so much safer then and conspiracy theories were only seen in thrillers.
    
17. The Boogeyman is now a virus Far more lethal than vampires or monsters under the bed!
18. Facebook makes it easy to connect and be a social voyeur.
19. Putting your best face forward makes it easier to adjust to the new normal (especially when working from home and having to go on Zoom in between Netflix features). Cover floor-length mirrors. They aren’t your BFF during ECQ.
    
20. I realize now why kids are sent off to summer school – moms need a breather and a little space when everyone is so up close and personal. Women who can juggle family, household chores, careers, business, bake amazing cookies with their eyes closed, and are creative every millisecond second of their perfect lives, leave me in awe and make me squirm with envy. Even Martha Stewart would be shame-faced!
21. Alcohol has more value on your hands than down your throat. We shall all laugh someday at panic-buying toilet paper. This too will pass.
    

22. Thieving and phishing are alive and well so be on your guard. Thievery takes many forms and personalities.

23. Staying sane is a daily struggle but there are lifelines like the Bible, friends, families, books, and what is probably now a “better home and garden”. When that fails, go offline – no news is good news when it becomes paralyzing and too confusing. Escapist you say? Not, if it’s just a tiny moment in the scheme of things. I call it recharging.
24. Superman is not a man of steel. He’s the masked guy who goes to the market and grocery for you. Adam Sandler was always right, “he gives you medicine… and the remote control”. Chances are, you’ll grow old together.
25. “Eat, Pray. Love” works.

(Photo Credits: You Got This by Prateek Katyal from Pexels. Monalisa by Yaroslav Danylchenko from Pexels)