Boys don’t cry?

By Klaus Döring

The concept of “Boys Don’t Cry” is to promote the awareness of the mental effect of masculinity, and the pressure on young boys to prove theirs.

Is it really normal for guys to not cry? Men have significantly lower levels of prolactin (hormone related to emotional tears) as compared to women. The cultural reason, according to her is that societal stereotypes discourage men to weep

Since I was a little boy, my whole family and our neighbors liked to hammer into my mind and heart the slogan: “Boys (men) don’t cry!” Many incidents happened in my life as a young boy. Later too. Up to now – after reaching the second half of my life. Incidents with oppressed and held back tears and emotions…

I made a complete fool, when I tried to satisfy my unquotable thirst and insatiable hunger as a young boy by penetrating the closed kitchen of our neighbor. A terrible good hiding followed together with the comment: “Don’t cry or you’ll never become a real man!” Bursting into tears (BAHALA NA!), I didn’t understand why a boy should bear the pain of trashing but knowing during the same time that he might never become a real man! What an untenable mug’s game!

I never became a whipping boy or fan of brawl and fight because I always tried to search for ways not to cry. “You’ll never become a real man, because a real man knows how to fight without bursting into tears!” Longing to see the girls in our neighborhood, who always had been allowed to cry because of any non-important thing or trifling matter.

My thirst for knowledge let me start travelling around the world when I became 18. I learned that this silly custom seemed to exist more or less worldwide. In different Asian countries I learned the nonsense (sorry!) parents explaining their sons, “If you’ll not stop crying, you might become a gay!”

Step by step I experienced many examples, incidents or reasons when I didn’t care anymore fortunately about my tears and emotions. A special place with a good or bad remembrance can make me cry. Salt dissolves in water like emotions in tears: an unjustified treatment, arrogance and ignorance from people around me, a heartfelt condolence, a rejected or non-return love or friendship, a very special song, a very touching situation or speech, being choked with emotions – but ALSO crying because of happiness or never expected gratitude. Are all these privileges only allowed for females? Are males only robots with hearts of stone? Objection my dear fellow creatures!

Do men have a harder time crying? In fact, studies show repeatedly that women cry three to five times more often than men do. According to the German Society of Ophthalmology, which has collated different scientific studies on crying, the average woman cries 30 to 64 times a year, and the average man cries six to 17 times a year

Allow me to cry whatever the reason might be. Even if it is because I help cut onions and garlic for lunch!


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